They're Not Your Friends Page 28
Her dad asked Lottie for help. So she wrote press releases for his business. She knew he was just doing it to make sure she didn’t starve, but she pretended to take it seriously. She advised him to paint over his face on the truck in favor of a subtler approach to plumbing. Nothing doing, he said. Oh well, it was worth the try.
The other day when her father helped her move furniture, Lottie told him, “Dad, I know I don’t say it, but I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
“Thanks, Char—I mean, Lottie—but I wasn’t there for you enough.”
“But you gave up your dreams for me and became a plumber.”
“Are you kidding? I love being a plumber. It’s your mother who always made my acting sound more serious than it was. I think she was embarrassed by my career choice. She thought it was beneath her, so she created this romantic version of it. She made plumbing my last resort. In her mind, I was about to be a star, but I sacrificed it all for my family.”
“Really?” Even her family history had been a lie.
“Really.” He laughed. “Plumbing completes me.”
Lottie smiled. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being Hank Love from Tarzana. Maybe all the spotlights don’t shine on Hollywood.
But Mike Posner was in the spotlight, at least for today. When she clicked on the television, there he was, on Entertainment Tonight, talking about Chris Mercer, whom he eventually interviewed for a Personality cover.
“He told me that he thinks about drinking every day. He says he sees a bottle of vodka and he can feel the sensation of the booze going down his throat and sometimes he starts to feel buzzed.”
She laughed.
CHRIS MERCER REVEALS ALL!
EXCLUSIVELY TO MIKE POSNER!
And with that one story, Bernie suddenly forgot all about the source problems. Chris talked about his battle with alcoholism, his recovery. It was wonderful, the editors said. It was the first truth Mike had thought he’d written. Lottie didn’t dare tell him that Chris was lying the whole time.
She realized while watching him on TV that the newly hatched chicken look had disappeared. She didn’t know if it had been gone for a while and she was just noticing it. Or had it vanished some time that day?
Vince eventually found out that Mike had stolen the key. He sent Bernie the video, believing she’d fire him. Instead, she said, “I’m impressed. That boy shows initiative. Anything for a story.” Mike was on his way to Vince’s job.
Was it love? Lottie couldn’t say. The word “love” was so much a part of her lexicon that it had lost meaning. But it was all crazy. Here was a guy she couldn’t stand a few weeks ago. Catherine said she sought out larger-than-life celebrities because it made her feel better, made her feel like she was worth something. Reality couldn’t compete. She had hated Mike because she hated herself.
MIKE STOPPED BY with the Dalmatian he had adopted from Catherine.
He smiled as he scanned Lottie. “Cute overalls.”
“I just saw you on TV,” she told him.
“How was I?”
“You need to smile more,” she said, petting the dog. “Have you figured out a name?”
“Rolo.”
“Rolo?” Lottie shook her head. “Ugh.”
“After Rolodex,” he said, his ears turning red. “If it weren’t for that thing, I would have never had the balls to, well. . . get to know you.”
“Or Chris Mercer,” Lottie couldn’t help but add. But she was touched. She gently slapped the dog.
While Mike helped Catherine plant some oleanders around the side of the deck, Lottie unpacked her bedroom. She opened the box full of posters from her office at Personality—Brad and Chris and Tom and Marlon and Ray. She decided it was time to throw them away.
She flipped the box over and tossed its contents into the trash. A pile of yellow legal pages fluttered to the floor. She picked them up and didn’t recognize the handwriting at first. Then she realized it was Lem Brac’s. He must have left the notes in the box by accident.
The pages were numbered, so she organized them. There was a title page.
THEY’RE NOT YOUR FRIENDS
She found a note and realized that this was no accident. He must have shoved it in the box that night at the office.
Dear Lottie,
You may discover this manuscript a week from now or in twenty years. I might never know. But I do know that you’ve rummaged through this box and decided you no longer need the posters. I tried to purge myself of celebrity once and it got me into a lot of trouble. I know you’ll have better luck.
Please read this book and finish it for me. I never will, but you can. An agent told me it was very good. It still needs an ending. Then you can publish it. You’re the only one I trust.
Never let the flowers die.
Lemuel
She sat on a chaise lounge on the deck and read. The story started with Lem as a young man arriving in the United States. It was filled with anecdotes from every celebrity he’d ever met. It told the story of Franny Blanchard.
She thought about what she should do. About everything—her career, Mike, this book. Why would Lem think she was capable of an ending? She was barely making a start. Maybe nothing would come to her. Maybe Lem thought she was better than she really was. Maybe Mike and Catherine did, too. Maybe she had always been an actress fooling everybody. She closed her eyes and struggled for an ending.
FROM WHAT SEEMED like miles away, she heard Rolo bark excitedly. She opened her eyes. He was pawing at a butterfly. That’s when she noticed them. A swarm of monarchs flitted in and out of the goldenrod.
She slowly moved toward the butterflies. Their gold-and-black wings were like stained glass shimmering in the sunlight. Just like when she was a little girl, she stealthily leaned in and plucked one right off the sage. She lightly pinched it between her thumb and forefinger.
“They found us,” she said, knowing at that moment that Lem was right. She could do anything.
Acknowledgments
Thanks to Shana Drehs, my editor, for her enthusiasm and wisdom, and the entire Crown team responsible for assembling this book, especially Mary Ann Smith, Karen Minster, and Sibylle Kazeroid. Also, wholehearted thanks to Stephanie Kip Rostan, my agent, for her unwavering belief in this book; to my mom and dad, who will promote this book harder than anyone, except for perhaps my sister, Jeannine Schwing, and her husband, Dave; to Rene Lipp, who always provides good juju; and especially to Larry—for encouraging me to write this book, forcing me to finish it, and then reading it at least a hundred times—and for being, along with my daughters, my inspiration.
About the Author
Irene Zutell spent five years as a correspondent in the Los Angeles bureau of People magazine. Her work has appeared in many publications, including Us Weekly, the New York Times, the New York Daily News, Newsday, and Crain’s New York Business. Irene cocreated and was co–executive producer of a reality show for CBS, and is a coauthor of I’ll Never Have Sex with You Again! Tales from the Delivery Room. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and daughters.
Also by Irene Zutell
I’ll Never Have Sex with You Again!
Praise for They’re Not Your Friends
“An entertaining and eye-opening look at the reality behind celebrity, and the darker side of the Hollywood spotlight.”
—Jennifer O’Connell, author of DRESS REHEARSAL and BACHELORETTE #1
“Irene Zutell’s firsthand experience as a celebrity journalist makes for a decadently satisfying first novel—her unapologetic, take-no-prisoners candor scintillates like the hottest Hollywood bombshell.”
—Elise Miller, author of STAR CRAVING MAD
Copyright 2005 by Irene Zutell
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. Published
in the United States by Three Rivers Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
THREE RIVERS PRESS and the Tugboat design are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Zutell, Irene.
They’re not your friends : a novel / Irene Zutell.
1. Hollywood (Los Angeles, Calif.)—Fiction. 2. Motion-picture
industry—Fiction 3. Women journalists—Fiction. 4. Celebrities—
Fiction. 5. Young women—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3626.U84T47 2005
813'.6—dc22 2004026536
eISBN: 978-0-307-23835-1
v3.0